


John David Washington and Robert Pattinson read "Tenet" thirst tweets

by abani



Category: Actor RPF, Tenet (2020)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abani/pseuds/abani
Summary: Imagine the stars of "Tenet" reading some of the internet's thirsty remarks out loud and reacting to them. Wouldn't that be a treat.
Relationships: Neil & The Protagonist (Tenet), Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 100





	John David Washington and Robert Pattinson read "Tenet" thirst tweets

**Author's Note:**

> 就想看他們兩個唸對方的thirst tweets，互相誇獎尷尬至極然後笑成一團。但疫情下的宣傳期看來是不可能實現了，只好用想像的（淚流滿面）。
> 
> Imagine a parallel world where COVID-19 hasn't happened, where John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, and the cast of "Tenet" were doing premieres and press conferences and talkshow appearances and online interviews... 
> 
> And may even probably, if we're lucky enough, be forced to do a thirst tweets interview with Buzzfeed.
> 
> Here's an example of a thirst tweets interview, one of my favourites actually, starring Richard Madden.  
> https://youtu.be/feFQ6mAPvz8

(Intro scene)

John David Washington (JDW): "Hello, I'm John David Washington, and I play the Protagonist in _Tenet_."

Robert Pattinson (RP): "I'm Robert Pattinson and I play Neil in _Tenet_."

JDW: "Today, we will be reading-"

Together: "- _Tenet thirst tweets_ -"

RP: "...that people have come up with on the internet. (Frowns slightly) What is a thirst tweet, anyway?"

JDW: "(Raises eyebrows) Looks like we're about to find out."

RP: "I think this is going to be fun." (Sits up a little straighter)

(Upbeat interlude music)

JDW: "All right, first one. _Robert Pattinson stole the hearts of millions of girls with Twilight. Now he's doing it to all the men around the world with Tenet. Brace yourselves boys!!_ "

RP: "Wow. Um… thank you! (Giggles) I'm not sure I was going for… er, the same effect as Twilight did, but-"

JDW: (Interrupts) "You're much more attractive in this one. I mean, you were attractive in Twilight, too, but… yeah."

RP: "I disagree. But thank you."

(Interlude)

RP: " _I would do anything to get John David Washington to glare at me with his eyes half open like his first scene in Tenet. Seriously it's so hot it sets my intestines on fire._ That sounds… a little unpleasant, doesn't it? (Mumbles) _sets the intestines on fire..._ "

JDW: "Well, actually it's just my sleepy face, you know? So all you gotta do is catch me on a day when I hadn't had enough sleep and I'd be like- (stares at the camera sleepily)"

RP: (looking at JDW) "That's indeed hot."

JDW: "It's just my sleepy face, man. C'mon, you try it."

RP: (sleepily stares into the camera, and shakes his head) "Nope. I actually look like I'm stoned" (JDW laughes in the background) "How do you DO it?"

(Interlude)

JDW: " _The way Neil looks at the Protagonist the first time they meet is like he's totally restraining himself from pinning him to the wall and kissing him passionately._ "

RP: "Does it? I mean, in the context of the script Neil was supposed to be-"

JDW: "-Already in love with me?"

RP: "Yeah. (Echoes) Already in love with you. (Nods appreciatively) Okay."

(Interlude)

RP: " _Christopher Nolan creates a fascinating world with entropy-reversing technology and all I can think of now is how the Protagonist can have sweet sex with an inverted Neil._ "

JDW: (Pauses) "Wow."

RP: "Wow."

JDW: "That sounds even harder to shoot than the inverted fight scenes."

RP: "Indeed it does."

(Interlude)

JDW: "(Laughing) Hear this one. _Imagine Ives getting really pissed off having just seen the Protagonist and Neil walk invertedly into the opposite room and start making out._ "

RP: "Making out, like, invertedly? How does that happen?"

JDW: "No, they're the same direction, but Ives is inverted? I don't know... But why is he pissed off?"

RP: "Maybe Ives is just jealous."

JDW: "Of whom?"

RP: "Of Neil, obviously. (Laughes)"

(JDW chuckles and shrugs)

(Interlude)

RP: " _Just saw Tenet. What an epic love story it was. P.S. John David Washington's pecs, biceps and thighs are epic, too._ "

(Cut)

RP: " _John David Washington's magnificent lips and beard are the sole reasons I'm still alive now._ See, that's why Ives is jealous. Told you."

JDW: "Thank you! (Laughes) I worked out really hard for those lips."

RP: "(Giggles and frowns at the same time) Those lips?"

JDW: "(Continues laughing, then puts on a smug face) Yeah, the lips."

(Interlude)

JDW: " _Let's be honest. You've imagined Neil and his gorgeous blonde hair in bed while you [f***] him until he cries with satisfaction._ ...Whoa."

RP: "(turns to JDW, deepening his voice) Have you imagined it?"

JDW: "The policy is to suppress, my friend."

(Both laugh)

(Interlude)

RP: "Aaand that's the end of this… um, interesting-"

JDW: "-and slightly bizarre-"

RP: "-slightly bizarre interview."

JDW: "Thank you for all your creative input."

RP: "And thank you for watching us awkwardly reading them out loud."

JDW: (Turns to RP) "Should we show some of these to Chris, Chris Nolan? Maybe he can make a sequel outta some of these ideas?"

RP: "Yeah, absolutely. (Nodding) Absolutely not."

JDW: "(Agrees and laughes) Absolutely not."

(Ending music and subscribe button on screen)


End file.
